I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He has the fingertips of a God
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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