Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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