hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
We got so high we made milksteak
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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