yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
