I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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