none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
