i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
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its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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