I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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