I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
