I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
