in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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