There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
