he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
