I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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