If that was your dad, he is hot
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
