I hate your face
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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