..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
