Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
