Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..

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(267) 4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room.. http://tfl.nu/v238

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(760): View more from California

have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive

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(760): have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive http://tfl.nu/u0dx

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(734): View more from Michigan

SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

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(734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me

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(201): I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me http://tfl.nu/61f7

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!

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(610): Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me! http://tfl.nu/2u3z

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(317): View more from Indiana

she was licking his armpits.

(317): View more from Indiana

asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.

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(317): she was licking his armpits. (317): asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story. http://tfl.nu/2ll0

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(305): View more from Florida

And the cops told us we were all naked.

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(305): And the cops told us we were all naked. http://tfl.nu/sk8w

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(803): View more from South Carolina

and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old

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(803): and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old http://tfl.nu/y7b8

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.

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(306): It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story. http://tfl.nu/6m1s

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(312): View more from Illinois

Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday

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(312): Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday http://tfl.nu/xsly

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(979): View more from Texas

I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...

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(979): I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to... http://tfl.nu/okbj

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(201): View more from New Jersey

just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control

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(201): just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control http://tfl.nu/3b72

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.

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(763): Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage. http://tfl.nu/62w3

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(219): View more from Indiana

If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.

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(219): If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please. http://tfl.nu/b8so

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(406): View more from Montana

I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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(406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5

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