I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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