Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
