My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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