so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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