I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
