i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
