this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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