Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize