I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
