I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
