did you get engaged???
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
