So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER