What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We need to get me chipped asap
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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