There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
