Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
39 Memes Anyone Who Cries When They See Their Bank Account Will Relate To
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam