stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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