he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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