Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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