is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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