Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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