Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No subtext here. People are naked.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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