I am puke
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
