As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
