i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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