so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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