Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
COCAINE IS GR8
I licked your asshole in confidence.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
