I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize