My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize