That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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