There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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