why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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