i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
