if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
