thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
