The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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