I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
