so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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