If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
