matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
