My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I am one with the molecules
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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