I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.