if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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