Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS