I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.